Vast Umbrellas and: ‘The Moisture’

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Vast Umbrellas and: ‘The Moisture’

By:

Connor McDonough-Flynn

It was a rainy day in Foggy Dublin Town, even when wet, the cities beauty and imagination knows no bounds.

Umbrellas were out and about in full force, seemingly growing larger and larger with each passing droplet of rain. Portable fabricated brolly houses on display for all to see. Dry ceilinged havens, as drip drops from the sky trickled down. Creating the excuse to use that, which was purchased. Hoping, praying, pleading for rain, to constitute a reason to justify the gigantic umbrella obtained. Material expenses exchanged, to shield one, from the immense threats of misty moisture.

I’m being facetious to a rather tactless, unwieldy level, though the rain was doing exactly as stated, trickling, down. Trickling! No more, no less, trickling. Not even a dribble or a leak, a Trickle! We’re talking an itsy-bitsy streamlet here people… but I digress.

I bring up the umbrellas, and more importantly the size of the umbrellas, for I don’t understand why a person would need or desire these gargantuan constructions. For more often than not, they’re only canvassing themselves, singularly, from the rain:The Moisture’.

The incredible size of these expansive umbrellas, carry with them the ability to shelter entire small communities from: The Moisture, yet sadly, they’re only used to shelter one – two at most.

It seems that the abilities of the broad umbrellas have not been considered at all. Rather no consideration has been taken on the umbrellas behalf. The poor brolly hasn’t been allowed a say in the matter whatsoever. Leaving the monumental umbrella feeling underappreciated, misrepresented, and misused. Deep down I feel that these umbrellas really want to be protecting the greater good in the colossal numbers that it’s size affords, but the umbrellas cries are not heard. The brolly is caught, held captive, by the singular invested carrier, providing safety for only one – two at most.

Not to mention the dangers created by the stupendous umbrellas to passers bys eyes. The traffic and congestion created, as well as the visibility obstructions presented to the hustling and bustling commuters. The travelers, who’ve chosen to brave: The Moisture, with no security, or have managed to look within their reasonable selves and come to the conclusion that an umbrella aptly sized for one would far suffice, and do the job to properly preserve themselves from: The Dreaded Moisture.

Now I’m not meaning to argue the use of umbrellas, or meaning to be judgmental towards those who choose to utilize an umbrella to safeguard them selves from the rain: The Moisture.

I am curiously poking fun at those who chose to elaborately guard themselves with these vast structures of moisture defense. Broadcasting their general disregard for the people around, and thinking at no point of the safety or comfort for the surrounding hustling and bustling commuters. Instead brandishing these massive moisture evasion mechanisms with no regard at all. Putting all neighboring them at a greater danger and discomfort merely on account of their own dryness.

I suppose I am asking those who wield these humongous canopies of wetness prevention, to perhaps, consider how their actions and decisions impact those around them. Maybe even going as far as to accentuate their undoubtedly titanic character with a more considerate, practical, reasonably sized brolly.

I know: The Moisture, can be quite treacherous and distressing; dangerous even – at times depressingly downright disheartening. But fret not, remain dry, and hold on to the hope that perhaps the floodgates of: The Dreaded Moisture, will one day stop, cease, and reach a more publicly spirited understanding of the discomfort IT: The Moisture, creates.

Perhaps, even lead to a passing chat in a side street nook – an opening – escaping: The Dreaded Moisture, and unexpectedly accompanying an unknown passer by with an injured eye. Where the hazards of the monstrous umbrellas can be discussed, and the sanctity of vision shall be harbored and protected from the menacing probes and prongs of an outstretched brolly in full mushroom.

Career Counselor

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Career Counselor

By:

Connor McDonough-Flynn

I was sitting in the chair at 10:38am on the nose. I didn’t want to be late. Such an action would be disrespectful, unprofessional even.

The CV’s that I’d printed up especially for the meeting were placed on the table. One artistic. One professional. They’d cost me €2.60. I’d even gone out of my way and changed my daily walking route around to print them.

The printer required resided in an Internet café, where angry Asian lads sat behind massive computer screens playing bohemian rhapsody on their keyboards – staring through imaginary scopes looking for the virtual kill. Not much for conversation these lads, I thought.

When the button was pushed and my Internet privileges allowed, I re-worked the CV’s and tightened them up. Not to say they weren’t presentable before, but I read them through, worked out any kinks, brought a bit of a jig to their step. Was going to pay a euro for an hour anyway, figured I’d use a bit of the time productively and get my money’s worth. Would be disrespectful to not turn up with an edited, reworked, jazzed-up CV for the meeting and future career prospectus.

I was meeting the career counselor at 10:45 in the cafeteria of the government financed college building. Suspecting that this could be the meeting I’ve been waiting for, the meeting where I’d realize my path in life and walk merrily towards the light – fearlessly abhorrent to where or what I was doing beforehand – sprinting forwards to a state of perpetual bliss where monetary petals would rain down upon my barren pockets.

The night before I’d set the alarm clock for 8:00am, 8:30am, 9:00am and 9:30am, to make sure that I didn’t sleep too late. Being late would be disrespectful. Unprofessional even.

The 8:00am alarm got me up, the 8:30am out of bed. My plan was running smoothly. I dusted the morning dew away, made some coffee and wrote for a bit. Read for a bit while taking a shit. I then took a shower, got dressed, did some push-ups, and finished the coffee while listening to some music and once again, writing. The morning was going swimmingly.

I headed out the door leaving myself 45-minutes, knowing, it only took me only 15-minutes to complete the walk. But I didn’t want to be late, that would be disrespectful. Unprofessional even.

I walked the walk I walked 5-days a week, only today there was an extra stop. Normally upon arrival I’d go straight into the classroom and sign the paper to prove my attendance. This action was crucial, not doing so would result in the educational payments that I was receiving to cease post haste. Today, I didn’t go to the classroom to sign on time at all. Instead I went straight to the cafeteria to meet the career counselor about my career. I’d bigger aspirations on my plate. Career aspirations to be exactly precise.

The career counselor meeting: my life changing, future event, that causes the stars to align in a beautiful symphony of structure and solitude. The type of shit that dreams are made of, I thought.

Upon my early arrival to the college cafeteria I looked around and noticed the place was empty, all the chairs free, the vending machine buzzing away. Proper meeting setting, the type of setting that one envisions for a life changing moment with a career counselor. Her name was (and by all accounts remains to be) Helga.

I chose a round table, with five chairs lining the outside; the table had a predestined ability to seat five people comfortably. Perfect. Just in case Helga brought any of her esteemed colleagues along with her to handle this decaying young minds future conquests. Perhaps I could become a case study? One could only hope, I thought.

With my jacket tossed over the back of a chair I sat down and got my CV’s out and placed them on the table, all professional like – taking away any possibility of coming across disrespectful. Professionalism at its finest. With a book in hand I looked at my phone for the time, 10:38am. I was early. Proper style, I said to myself as I began to read.

The book I was reading wasn’t great, hadn’t been great, but I wanted to finish it so I… didn’t have to read it any more. We’ve all been in that scenario. Reading a book that you thought would inspire but it turns out that your intuition was correct from page one and the book’s simply a piece of faeces.

The author had written good books previously, some even turned into movies, so I gave it a go and as I got closer to the end I really wondered how in the hell this book got all these rave reviews, because it was an absolute pile of dog shite. Nobody should pick up this book, I thought. The acid on the shit alone would incinerate any surface that it came into contact with. Causing the shit to smolder deep into the earth’s crust, creating a geyser of oily shit to erupt from the earth’s core. Leading to the fire brigade having to be called and the national guard being brought in to throw explosives into the inflamed surge of shit spewing out a fire ball of excrement – for the sole purpose of putting out the chaotically defecating mess that was bringing danger to the lives of everyone around – on account of the toxic capabilities that the shit could contain when introduced to explosive elements. “Apologies, that ran on a bit, but you know the score. We’ve all been there. Here we go…”

Reading away I looked at the phone again, 11:00am. Not to worry, it’s a Tuesday, probably running a bit late. Looking around, the room was still empty, not a sinner. A lady had come in a while back to get a snack from the vending machine, which rounded off all the action in the area. The vending machine was getting more face time then I was. The area still remained a quintessential setting for a career-counseling meeting, me still sitting at the table with the capability of seating five comfortably, if necessary.

As the book lagged on, the end in sight, two gentlemen walked into the cafeteria and sat at a table wielding two chairs. Perhaps another career counselor meeting? I thought. They both had laptops; I had no laptops, only CV’s, maybe I should’ve brought my laptop? I thought. It’ll be grand a voice inside my head reassured me, It’ll be grand.

Kept reading. Looked at the phone, 11:25am. No big deal, I’m still a few pages away from finishing this book I said to myself.

Before finishing the book I decided I’d go out and have a smoke and call the career counselor Helga to see if she was still coming. I collected my CV’s, pushed in my chair and headed out the gap with a rollie rolled. I gave her a shout when I’d passed through the gap and stood, standing, outside. Voice mail. Ah. I Left a message, finished the smoke and went back inside to the table with the five chairs. I opened my book once again and read on as the setting slowly changed. This time I left the CV’s in my bag.

The cafeteria began to open up and come to life, there were people walking around to and fro too and fro. Places to go, someone to see, the vending machine still buzzing away. The book’s end was even closer when I looked at my phone again, 12:05pm. Helga, the career counselor, was over an hour late. She’d forgotten my career.

The pages of the book dragged on, as the hustle and bustle in the background continued; people getting coffee, no real small chat, just clippity-cloppity. My phone read 12:25pm, it was time to go, I’d had enough. My Career remained in limbo, my mind left racing like a crank addicted butterfly.

I called the career counselor once again, this time she answered: “Don’t worry about it, thanks a million.” I said when her excuses began, and I hung up the phone. Had taken me two weeks to book that appointment.

Gutted, I finished off the book, the last sentence reading: “Raising my hand just a tiny bit higher, so someone might finally look and see me.” And I thought, with my hands down, what a fitting end to a shitty story.

“Lonely Chair” photo by: http://www.artlimited.net/image/en/406021.

Peek-A-Boo Pussy

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Peek-A-Boo Pussy

By:

Connor McDonough-Flynn

            Walter loved vagina. He loved it. He loved eating pussy. Eating pussy was his favorite activity. Satisfying a woman with his mouth was the highest form of pleasure for Walter, and he was excellent at getting females there with his tongue, lips, mouth, fingers, nose and saliva. Oh yes, saliva.

He’d had numerous hands on experiences, he’d researched intently, read articles, studied diagrams; Walter was a self-proclaimed pussy professional. He’d come across some sordid insights along the way, silly ones to – the strangest coming from an article written by a woman in her twenties describing how she liked men to talk to her pussy, and more precisely, to baby talk her pussy. Baby talking is what got her feminine engine revving to hair-raising levels, leaving her elatedly howling to the starry skies.

Baby talking a pussy heightened Walter’s curiosity immediately. Instantaneously captivated. He was intrigued as to how far he could go with baby talking a pussy. At that stage of his life he’d been with his mystical woman for a little over a year, and she loved to get her pussy eaten (what women doesn’t?), and Walter would please her honeypot every day with absolute delight.

That night, when Walter and his beautiful lady came home, Walter was ready to rock with his baby talk. Walter told her that he wanted to taste her. She excitedly got onto the bed, and he slipped her pants and panties down. Her vagina was compressed and scrunched inwards on account of her tight pants and panties. Walter slid his tongue over her pussy, loosening the muscles, introducing moisture, saliva – bringing the hidden pleasures behind her picturesque folds of skin to life. She began to groan with excitement. Her lips opening. She loved when Walter made a meal of her pussy, she came in multiples each and every time.

Walter’s tongue was in rhythm, tickling and moistening her cliterous, labia and vulva. He knew all her spots. His lady was grabbing the back of his head, sensually taking hold of his hair, pushing his head and tongue deeper into her. Her panting, sighs and pleads towards the sky were reverberating around the walls of the room, creating a symphony of bliss in Walter’s ears. She tasted of delicious sweet sweat – her natural body odors and smells – her lush love box. Her hips were gyrating, her hands still navigating around Walter’s head, she was in another dimension, an alternate reality of reflexive ecstasy, she implored him not to stop.

“Don’t stop baby, don’t stop, please don’t stop. Oh…”

Walter listened to her and continued on. His tongue circling her cliterous like a soft rabbit’s foot. Gently lashing at her orgasmic spot like a professor of climactic proportion.

“Baby. Don’t stop, don’t stop, please don’t stop. Oh… Oh…”

Walter didn’t stop, he continued on, his fingers now gliding in and out of her dripping vagina. Her juices flowing freely, uninhibited, her passionate sounds echoing through his ear drums.

“Don’t stop, baby don’t stop, please don’t stop. Oh… Oh… Oh…

He passionately continued on, he could feel her getting close. Fervently. He looked up to see her eyes closed, her head cocked back, her pelvis pulsating, her right hand gliding through the hairs on her scalp, her left hand still pushing Walter on, guiding him towards her holy land. He, still joyously journeying around her most intimate of environments.

Baby. Don’t stop, don’t stop, baby please don’t stop…”

Walter kept going, his tongue was now lapping the inside of her pussy, looking to find the holy grail; her G-spot. She was convulsing with enticement, he felt her juices boiling, her body opening up, her mind erasing. Her entire being becoming one in the moment before climax. Now’s the time, Walter thought.

“Don’t stop baby, don’t stop, baby please don’t stop. Oh… Oh… OhOh… I’m…

Who’s that silly pussy? You want to cum don’t you? Yes you do. Who’s a silly little pussy. Look at you all wet, turned on and juicy…

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

She grabbed a hold of his hair, only now in a fist.

“I’m baby-talking your pussy.”

“BABY TALKING MY PUSSY?”

“Yeah. Peek-A-Boo Pussy?

Her hands now tugged his head up and his hair was at it’s wits end, there was a large group of strands being separated from his scalp.

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BABY TALK OR PEEK-A-BOO MY PUSSY? I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CUM. ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED? I AM NOT A BABY, I AM A WOMAN, EAT MY FUCKING PUSSY.”

Walter looked into the eyes of his infuriated woman, wondering what he’d done wrong? He was the self-proclaimed pussy eating master and he was only intending to add to his arsenal. The magazine, the woman, the article, it’d said that baby talk was a sure thing. He’d even introduced the Peek-A-Boo, a new move that he could patent, the Peek-A-Boo Pussy move. “Perhaps magazines don’t contain ALL the answers?” Walter thought to himself in the moment. “There shall have to be further research done…”

Walter saw the carnal rage in his loving ladies eyes, she’d ripped out a chunk of his hair and slapped him across his head. She’d been seconds away from an orgasm that would’ve shaken the nature of humanity and he’d stopped to play peek-a-boo with her pussy.

He felt in the moment that time was, in fact, of the essence. This was no time for laughter. He looked dead into his vibrant woman’s eyes and dove his face back into her holy land, and ate, and licked – introducing fingers from all angles. She erupted with delight, tearing further chunks out of his head. And as she lay, head and neck extended back, both her hands on the back of his head, her legs spread akimbo, her eyes closed, her vagina glistening with saliva, fluid and flowing moisture. Walter looked up at her and looked back between her legs, at her soundly satisfied pussy and said:

Now there’s a happy pussy, what a good pussy, aren’t you the happiest little pussy in the whole-wide-world, Yes you are. Peek-A-Boo Pussy. Peek-A-Boo…

Walter’s little vixen said nothing, there was no hair pulling, no screaming, she just lay there gorgeously panting in the moment, harmoniously satisfied. And Walter learned in that moment, in that moment of sheer sensuality and intimacy, what the baby talk and peek-a-boo pussy was all about: Timing.

Peek-A-Boo…

“Hear No, See No, Meow No Evil (Grey Cat)” Picture by: http://www.redbubble.com/people/thewhalebaby/works/11164901-hear-no-see-no-meow-no-evil-grey-cat

Culture Night: Takin’ The Mic

Connor McDonough-Flynn (@ConMcFlynn) #TakingTheStage at the Culture Night ‘Takin The Mic’ in the Irish Writers’ Centre (@IrishWritersCtr) on the 19th of September 2014. Doors 18:30. Come early, stay late, all genres welcome.

Friday 19 September 
5 – 10.30pm 
Free Admission

The Irish Writers Centre, in collaboration with Children’s Books Ireland and Poetry Ireland, promises a fun evening for all ages and we’re delighted to now reveal some of our special guests … Read on!

 Events

5-7pm: Meet the Children’s Books Ireland expert Book Doctor with book recommendations and activities for young readers.

 6.30-7.30pm: Open mic for writers of children’s literature and young adult fiction. Five minute slots with special guests also.

 7.30-10pm: The Irish Writers Centre and Poetry Ireland present a once-off Takin the Mic open mic event, welcoming writers and performers of all genres.

Dave Lordan will be MCing the evening and there will be guest performances throughout the event! And if you don’t have anything prepared but want to take part, we’ll have lots of pieces for you to choose from in our lucky dip.

 Guests throughout the night include:

– Kevin Barry
– Paula Leyden
– Shirley McClure
– Geraldine Mitchell
– Nicola Pearce
– Louise Phillips
– Daniel Seery 

 & more!

 Workshops:

6.30-8pm: Creative writing workshop with the Inkslingers creative writing group.

 6.30-7.15pm: Spoken word workshop with Colm Keegan (Lingo Festival). Take the mic with confidence! Places are on a first come, first served basis.

 Further details on our events page here

 Is í An Roinn Ealaíon, Oidhreachta agus Gaeltachta i gcomhar le Comhairle Cathrach Bhaile Átha Cliath agus Iontaobhas Cultúrtha Bharra an Teampaill a d’eagraigh Oíche Chultúir duit.

 Culture Night is brought to you by the Department of Arts, Heritage and the Gaeltacht in partnership with Dublin City Council and Temple Bar Cultural Trust

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The Daily Paragraph – Netted Heart

The Daily Paragraph

Netted Heart

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Vamoose! Gripped. Griped. Gone. Desires. Written and writhing on a wall of befuddled backdrops. Running wild on a bed of nails. Extremities warped. Contorted.  Misconstrued and moonlighted. Strings clasped. Plucked, snatched and snared. Canned public lava, rushing! Erupting vandalism. Red organs. Sandy surfaces. Afflicted. Bittersweet gingerbread – Racing. Cupid’s nemesis, skillfully swift. Confectionery affections. Inflamed scarlet spectrums. Ensnared. Pulsating. Coarse restrictions. Intangible barriers. Morpheus’s graphical metamorphosis. Corralled in a back alley. Remembering. His adage. His liberty. One must always: Keep ‘it’ real, in the streets.

By: Connor McDonough-Flynn

Photograph: Connor McDonough-Flynn

How does one, Seize the Day? I’m confused…

Happy_Grafitti_Saturation_ThumbnailI hope everyone reading this is seizing the day and if it’s nighttime, and you haven’t seized the day, I abhor you to get in your time machine and seize the shit out of the day you’ve just failed to seize!!! It’s your only chance!!!

I’m writing this, a comedian, in Dublin, working his way up whatever comedic ladder I’m climbing up. Wondering where the fuck I’m heading, however I’m grateful for every step of the journey. Seizing the vaster reality of The Journey.

I do feel that the road will be kind; it currently leads some unnecessary disrespect, unreturned e-mails and phone calls, mindless hecklers, ups and downs, laughter, good buzz, great interactions, and new creative ways to sustain my existence, such as life.

I know that what I harbour inside of me will lead to a living and good things, different good things, for the goodness in my life at the moment I’m extremely grateful for. I don’t understand the rush. Where’s everyone going? What’s the hurry?

Some days I feel this hurry, it’s understandable the way things are going, but that’s a subject for another day.

When this hurry hits I get all excited and energized and do my best to get shit done, though more often than not when these surges occur, I haven’t the faintest idea where to go or what to do with them. Be productive! I write mostly, but how does one seize the day? How does one seize the moment? These aphorisms when used incorrectly, misinterpreted and taken out of context (lately on a daily basis) don’t instill peace in my soul; they instill haste and chaos.

Today’s age has loads of red tape, hoops and games, in all shapes and sizes. Which game do you want to play? And what about you…? Everyone’s playing his or her lovely games isn’t it great…? Systematically growing further and further away from each other.

Has life become one big carnival where everyone hops on and off the rides? Choosing their favorite, then riding that ride over and over and over and… is this what’s expected? Or am I the dumb ass for taking my time and allowing life in? Am I the retard standing in the corner telling jokes, whilst watching everyone have fun on their rides and missing out? The buzz kill moron who won’t ever get it? “Oh look, there’s the poor lost cause, he’ll never get it, all he has to do is pick a ride, but he just stands there making fun of everyone and doesn’t play, why doesn’t he play? He must be stupid or something… He was probably dropped as a child…

Is this my destiny, on my head stone will be: Here lies Connor McDonough-Flynn, he didn’t play the game and he died… Fair play to him…

Is life a game? Or is life, life? Are we all trapped in a big sports arena competing against each other to be the star? Has the Roman coliseum grown to a worldwide scale? Now we’re all running around afraid of getting eaten by the lions. Chariots racing around us all, everyone dodging spears and banding together in shield brigades to fend off the other game players? What the hell is going on?

Would I be better off in some hole in the wall in the middle of nowhere, with a small fire and a shoddy internet connection, reading about how the lions continue to rip heads off and how people are growing continually more comfortable killing each other for their own personal gain. So they can have a big house, a nice car, a woman with big breasts, or a husband with a giant cock, and they can lock themselves away in their castle of glorious matrimony. Looking down at all the minions fucking each other like rancid rabbits in a field of sewage. Is this the dream? The goal? The life’s work that people want to hang their hats on?

Perhaps that view is a bit extreme…

I do like things, I do love life, I’m grateful for my existence, filled with love, I love, there I said it. I feel to, ‘holy shit, what a pussy…!’ But I’m not sure what to make of it all. Seize the day. Does that mean go out and corner the first human I see and not leave them alone until they let me seize them? Go into a comedy club and not leave the stage until they let me seize the stage? Just take everything that I want, with reckless disregard, and seize it all? Doesn’t sound very enjoyable to me.

I know, once again, this is a bit far fetched, perhaps radical, maybe even a bit scary, but I don’t understand this seize aspect of life. I work hard, I chase my vision and make the best life I can for myself, which to be honest, at the moment, isn’t much. I battle with my own yearning to drink this world away. I don’t but that could be another way of looking at the, seize the day rational? Seize a bottle and then seize another one and then… many have fallen down that void.

I ask these questions because I’m generally interested. It’s easy to blame the world and the past on everything, parents, tragedies, and all that jazz, I’m not going to play that hand, but what am I missing I ask? Which pieces to the puzzle are missing from my puzzled box? And how can I make the pieces in my box of pieces work? I suppose that’s the big question.

The human journey, how to make the pieces in one’s box fit the grand scheme of this vast planet called earth. How does one maximize one’s existence to the fullest and truest possible degree?

Seize the day, and have no care or concern for anybody else but yourself, is that it? Step on heads and seize yourself, and then seize the day, and when you’ve seized the day, seize the week, then the month, then the year… seize, seize, and then seize some more. Until you seize out and fall into a coma and then you’re all seized up and it’s time for someone else to seize…

I talk in circles, backwards and forwards, doing my best to appreciate every opportunity I can. Should I be driving myself to seizures and be left alone in a padded room, labeled a crazy person because I did too much seizing? Living a life where I cannot exist without seizing? Rendering myself a destitute seizing addict.

Or drowning in a deep depression, and killing myself because I missed a day, and I didn’t seize it, and I cannot deal with the shame of not seizing every single day. What is this seize the day, I feel I am missing yet another point. I have not seized the point of seize the day.

The day’s over now, I hope in the deciders eyes I’ve seized today, though I cannot be sure, I feel good about it, though if one were to measure my day using today’s measurement scales I feel I would fall drastically short of seizing the day. I had a lovely day off, spent writing, reading and meandering about nature, have I seized today? I feel I have, but perhaps I am wrong. Or, perhaps I hold the key to my seizing of the day…?

Is seize the day objective or subjective? Is it down to my perspective or another’s perspective? Is there an outside source that judges the day seizing? One can’t be too sure.

Tomorrow I shall wake up with plans of seizing, though I’m still unaware of how to properly seize. Perhaps in time I will better understand the seizing process and be able to properly maximize my seizing of the day.

Running around, non stop, tirelessly seizing every moment of every day, sucking the marrow out of each and every day until the day is no longer there, only a withered frame of a day. Become the: Seize the Day Master! I have seized all the days, and have chosen not to share any of my seized days, for I’m Seizure Man!!!

I’ll instead keep all the seized days to myself, creating a seized day monopoly, with no intention of sharing any seizures at all, not even one moment of day seizure will I share, for I am the one who’s seized them all. I worked tirelessly to seize all the days and no one else tried to seize as much as me, so they’ll not know what it’s like to seize the day for I have seized them all!

All the days are mine and I have seized them all!!! Carpe Diem!!! Yes!!! Full day seizure!!! I win!!!

Most of these aphorisms are taken in the wrong way, posted up endlessly on facebook and social media, spewed out in moments of judgment, people misusing them to recharge their insecure fears like a mobile phone. These great sayings of belief taken out of context and used to manipulate one’s self and others to the point where there’s no enjoyment at all. People running around like deranged maniacs: I must seize the day, get the fuck out of my way, I must SEIZE! Is there seizing to be done over there? What about over there? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY, CAN’T YOU SEE I HAVE TO SEIZE THE FUCKING DAY!!! 

Is this what Horace had in mind…?

Perhaps, and bear with me, enjoy the day…? Or if you want to get real technical, pluck the day (as it is ripe). This seizing of the day is not based on future at all, it’s based on seizing the moment, enjoying the day, plucking it, patting it, watering it, whatever you chose to do, and not thinking of tomorrow today, instead acting in the best way you can today. Carpe Diem’s not ignoring one’s future. Rather it’s holding onto one’s self and doing what you can do today, and not trusting that all will fall into place someday. Enjoying today while it’s here. Doing your best, connecting with humans on a human level. In this mad, rampant world we live in, that’s all we’ve got to hang our hats on.

Take a breath and take the day in, laugh, act, and hopefully, you’ll not seizure out of the day, and force me to make a satirical joke about you. Would give me a break from constantly pulling the piss out of myself, an aspect of life I’ve seized wholeheartedly.

Article and Featured Image by: Connor McDonough-Flynn

The Daily Paragraph – How Ya… Giraffe…?

The Daily Paragraph

How Ya… Giraffe…?

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How ya…? Stone Free…! Nature’s charming Voodoo Child. Herbage roots… Undulating buttresses… a bolstered Quadruped Ungulata. Indiscriminative patches. Blushing… Brownie… Pumpkin shapes. Jack-o’-lantern’s… jacket of curvatures… Shingling a biscuit aura. Elongated connections… All Along The Watchtower… Streaming deltas… Flowing overlaps… Yapping leaf trap… Sneezing sets. Adorably adolescent… Vestal vibrations. Rock-n-Roll Baby! Harmonizing… Ivory wings… An a cappella… Savanna Angel. Crystallized… Inkblot Gypsy Eyes… Piebald. This Little Wing is… as… Bold As Love… Foxy!

By: Connor McDonough-Flynn

The Daily Paragraph – Setting

The Daily Paragraph

Setting

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Roar! Righteous roar…! Prismatic lion… Psychedelic… Dandy…  Daydreaming anomalistic eye. Earthly-incandescent stem.  Lustrously… Veracious lights. Temporal havens… Tempest presentiments… Disseminating conceptions. Cultivation. Phantasmal… Hazy horizons… Alizarin hues… Mountainous undertones.  Climbing. Clustered cacophonies aroused. Wafting. Aerial nucleuses… Freely transposed. Maturing. Undomesticated. Liberating pastures. One… Breath… Away… Vapor. Beauty… Invigorating beauty. Winded existences. Rejuvenated perspectives… Reincarnated… melodramatic metamorphoses. Wistful eclipses… Breaking… Dawn.

By: Connor McDonough-Flynn

The Daily Paragraph – Scuba Jellyfish

The Daily Paragraph

Scuba Jellyfish

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Bloop… Bloop… Boob…? Medusa’s gelatin embodiment… Enchanting. Seductive. Descending deep… Delving negatives… Turning to stone. Venomous… Flailing… Flippant appendages. Fervent feelers… Wisping… Man… Out of his element. Oxygenized and outfitted… Submerged in aquatic murkiness. Vacillating hydrae… Naked… Electrifying beauty. Powerless… One must oblige. Breathtaking reservoirs… In a snapshot… it’s gone… Reverted. Tick tock

By: Connor McDonough-Flynn

The Daily Paragraph – Cat Show

The Daily Paragraph

Cat Show

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Ding! Pussycat penumbra. Animated. Three. No two… no… Scintillant. Ghostly matting. Tabby pelt. Bamboozled. Diversified existences… Ambitious eyeshots… Tunnel vision. Doorway bleached. Ebony borders. Characters. Life. An amphitheatre. Mitts elevated. Elongated… Joyful prizefighter. Inevitable. Patient victory… Tail or made…? Whiskey whiskers… Shadow boxing UFO’s… Targets suspended. Doohickeys… closer than they appear… Deception blemished perception. Gambits… Catcalls… This lion will become…

By: Connor McDonough-Flynn

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