Vast Umbrellas and: ‘The Moisture’

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Vast Umbrellas and: ‘The Moisture’

By:

Connor McDonough-Flynn

It was a rainy day in Foggy Dublin Town, even when wet, the cities beauty and imagination knows no bounds.

Umbrellas were out and about in full force, seemingly growing larger and larger with each passing droplet of rain. Portable fabricated brolly houses on display for all to see. Dry ceilinged havens, as drip drops from the sky trickled down. Creating the excuse to use that, which was purchased. Hoping, praying, pleading for rain, to constitute a reason to justify the gigantic umbrella obtained. Material expenses exchanged, to shield one, from the immense threats of misty moisture.

I’m being facetious to a rather tactless, unwieldy level, though the rain was doing exactly as stated, trickling, down. Trickling! No more, no less, trickling. Not even a dribble or a leak, a Trickle! We’re talking an itsy-bitsy streamlet here people… but I digress.

I bring up the umbrellas, and more importantly the size of the umbrellas, for I don’t understand why a person would need or desire these gargantuan constructions. For more often than not, they’re only canvassing themselves, singularly, from the rain:The Moisture’.

The incredible size of these expansive umbrellas, carry with them the ability to shelter entire small communities from: The Moisture, yet sadly, they’re only used to shelter one – two at most.

It seems that the abilities of the broad umbrellas have not been considered at all. Rather no consideration has been taken on the umbrellas behalf. The poor brolly hasn’t been allowed a say in the matter whatsoever. Leaving the monumental umbrella feeling underappreciated, misrepresented, and misused. Deep down I feel that these umbrellas really want to be protecting the greater good in the colossal numbers that it’s size affords, but the umbrellas cries are not heard. The brolly is caught, held captive, by the singular invested carrier, providing safety for only one – two at most.

Not to mention the dangers created by the stupendous umbrellas to passers bys eyes. The traffic and congestion created, as well as the visibility obstructions presented to the hustling and bustling commuters. The travelers, who’ve chosen to brave: The Moisture, with no security, or have managed to look within their reasonable selves and come to the conclusion that an umbrella aptly sized for one would far suffice, and do the job to properly preserve themselves from: The Dreaded Moisture.

Now I’m not meaning to argue the use of umbrellas, or meaning to be judgmental towards those who choose to utilize an umbrella to safeguard them selves from the rain: The Moisture.

I am curiously poking fun at those who chose to elaborately guard themselves with these vast structures of moisture defense. Broadcasting their general disregard for the people around, and thinking at no point of the safety or comfort for the surrounding hustling and bustling commuters. Instead brandishing these massive moisture evasion mechanisms with no regard at all. Putting all neighboring them at a greater danger and discomfort merely on account of their own dryness.

I suppose I am asking those who wield these humongous canopies of wetness prevention, to perhaps, consider how their actions and decisions impact those around them. Maybe even going as far as to accentuate their undoubtedly titanic character with a more considerate, practical, reasonably sized brolly.

I know: The Moisture, can be quite treacherous and distressing; dangerous even – at times depressingly downright disheartening. But fret not, remain dry, and hold on to the hope that perhaps the floodgates of: The Dreaded Moisture, will one day stop, cease, and reach a more publicly spirited understanding of the discomfort IT: The Moisture, creates.

Perhaps, even lead to a passing chat in a side street nook – an opening – escaping: The Dreaded Moisture, and unexpectedly accompanying an unknown passer by with an injured eye. Where the hazards of the monstrous umbrellas can be discussed, and the sanctity of vision shall be harbored and protected from the menacing probes and prongs of an outstretched brolly in full mushroom.

Unhinged Comedy Story: 4th November 2015

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            The Web Summit crowd were in last night at Unhinged Comedy, and they were laughing away so they were – no applications or robots necessary.

The crowd was an eclectic mix of all over, which speaks to the great job the Web Summit does in getting people from the far reaches of the planet to Ireland.

The start was a feeling out session, me bouncing off the audience, the audience finding their own groove and comforts, and then, once a rhythm was established the night floated in a buoyantly laughable fashion.

The styles of the comedians on the night were vastly different. We had a lad from Dundalk talking about “poo” and bog-roll discrepancies. An OCD Murderer who spoke about his deep seeded fear of his wife and intercourse. A new comic talking about his will and how he’d like to see and leave the world when he dies. A local Dubliner talking about sexual matters regarding the acting and relationship world. A Lithuanian giant talking about door-to-door sales. And then a hard-core New Yorker speaking about texts and matters of the heart. The night was a mixed bag of amusement, and the audience ate the jokes up, and returned amplified affable laughter.

The English couple in the front row came up to me during the second break speaking of their surprise that the 800-years of English oppression hadn’t been joked about to that point, so I made it a point to rip into the English a bit, on request of, the English.

There was a lad from Portugal and another from France who were well up for the banter throughout, and an Argentinean woman who was laughing at the oxygen in the air. She was having a great time for herself so she was.

The night filled up nicely, and there was a steady stream of new audience members making their way into the show all evening. New faces, new places, and laugher flying around the shop. It was another successful night at Unhinged Comedy Club in The Ha’penny Bridge Inn. Another night where comedy, laughter and communication won – bringing people of different minds, backgrounds and dimensions together for 2-hours to laugh it out and enjoy themselves.

Unhinged Comedy Club runs every Wednesday and Sunday in The Ha’penny Bridge Inn. Doors are at 21:00. Jokes are provided each night. Get in and enjoy a night of Unhinged laughter ladies and gentleman. You’d be mad not to. All the best.

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